Most of us mamas could use a little more confidence in our every day lives. Old news; we know this. So the real question is: How do we go about building confidence–big, lasting, unstoppable confidence? Well, Mama, you’ve come to the right place. Here are 5 steps to help you get there! My hope is that you will find these tips helpful, and that applying them rocks your world.
Step One: Stop Comparing
Have you heard the phrase “comparison is the thief of joy?” Well, ladies, it’s true. Painfully true. Think about how many times you’ve been on Facebook, looking through friend’s posts of their Pinterest-perfect homes, flawless hair styles, and all those cute little moments they share. Or how about the times you look at a magazine at the checkout stand featuring some celebrity mom who got her body back six weeks after giving birth. Or the times when you wander over to the hashtag “fitmom” on Instagram and see all those amazingly sculpted bodies holding their 6-month-old babies. All those times. Does that ever make you feel awesome about yourself? NOPE. When you compare yourself to all these women who are not you and will never be you (because, newsflash: only you can be you), you never win. Never. Looking at these things might motivate or inspire you, but only if you approach it with the mentality that those women have lives, habits, genetics that are unique to them. So, knowing this, gleam what you can from others’ successes, but don’t get sucked into the black hole of comparison.
Step two: Accept Yourself
Like, truly. And deeply. You are freaking amazing, beautiful, one-of-a-kind, and there is NO ONE like you. Realize that you are enough, just as you are. You are worthy of love and acceptance, even from yourself. Especially from yourself! Commit to improving what you can change, and accept what you cannot change. True self-improvement can only happen after self-acceptance.
Step Three: Stop Limiting Yourself
Cut the crap. Stop with the excuses. So you have kids? Great. Now you have one, two, three, four…however many kids you have—you have that many more reasons to take better care of yourself and be the best human being you can be. Being a mother is not a limitation. Working long hours is not a limitation. Being a single parent is not a limitation. Not if you decide that it isn’t. Funny thing about life: when we decide we are absolutely going to do something, we somehow just do. There’s a reason people enjoy the stories about the underdog or the person who overcame all the odds and came out victorious. They stir something up inside of us that makes us feel like we can overcome anything, too. And, when you begin crushing your limitations by overcoming obstacles, you begin building momentum, which encourages confidence.
Step Four: Be More Assertive
And no, I don’t mean be pushy, preachy, or rude. You don’t have to be an a-hole to be assertive. Tactful, respectful assertiveness is a valuable yet rare skill. Get to know yourself, and know what you want at the core level. A major obstacle in communicating assertively is simply not knowing what we want, or what drives or inspires us. If there isn’t a level of certainty within ourselves, how can we be confident in expressing our desires to others? When you know what you want, be kind but assertive, and don’t beat around the bush. Knowing who you are and what you want in your life, relationships, career, health, everything—is an absolutely necessary element to creating unstoppable confidence.
Step Five: Live Purposefully
When you have a sense of purpose in your day and a vision for your life, it’s impossible for your confidence level to stagnate. The cool thing about purposeful living is that you don’t have to force yourself to push to make things happen, which leads to crazy burnouts. You instead get to experience that awesome internal pull that keeps you energized and keeps you going, even when things get hard. Coincidentally, the more your purpose propels you forward, the more unstoppable your confidence becomes.
Ultimately, having radiant, unstoppable confidence is a by-product of living as your true self, and loving your true self enough to become your best self. So if you’re ready to have unstoppable confidence, start taking these five steps today. And hey, I’d LOVE to hear from you about how taking these steps affect your confidence!